Reality bites

Archetypes from a recent milonga…

Lovely older man I know from practicas; started tango with his wife, about a year ago.  Has a musical ear.  He doesn’t attempt silly stuff. Mostly.  I avoid the ‘lean’ he leads — I am not a lightweight and it’s never going to work like that–I can feel it not happening.  He tells me while we’re chatting later (off the pista) how he and his wife want to go to Buenos Aires.  And how they want to learn ‘all the steps’ before they go.  *sigh*

A vaguely familiar face standing by the chair I had escaped to… asks me to dance; I take a chance. I think I danced with him a real long time ago, when he was a beginner.  We all have to pay our dues.  And, who knows.. since I don’t recall anything nasty, worth a try.  As soon as we’re on the dance floor, I remember.  He couldn’t care less — he’s just going through the motions.  He even tries to have a little chat while we’re dancing.   I shut him up politely by saying “I can’t dance and talk at the same time”.  Once the tanda is *thankfully* over, he thanks me (gee, was it that bad for you too?) and just turns around, away from me, to listen to the announcement by the band about the upcoming tanda. Leaves me standing there.  He’s oblivious to how rude this is.  I know he didn’t do it on purpose.  Nevertheless, I shall call him Mr NeverAgain.

I return to my table and say something about not enjoying being left on the floor just like that.  I am sitting at the same table with Mr ChattySweetAndConsiderate and his wife.  Mr CSC and wife know what I’m talking about — he also mentions how disappointed he is about how casually a lot of the men at this milonga are dressed.  This is not any old milonga — it’s a ticket-only event that’s been organised months ago, with a live band playing.   (Remember, this is not Buenos Aires… it’s an occasion in my neck of the woods to find a milonga with a live band.)

Oh, how can I forget Mr IKnowTangoMusicSoWell.  He asks me to dance when the band start playing Cafe Dominguez.  How I enjoy listening to it without the poem being recited over the music.  He, on the other hand, has no idea what the song is.  Leads some strange steps he must have picked up in some random class and ruins the song for me.  Not the first time he got carried away with trying “stuff” on the pista and ruined a piece of lovely music.  What a great way to kill the mood.  Oh, and how about having some garlic at  lunch while we’re at it?  Seriously… this is beyond inconsiderate.

In the end, it wasn’t all bad.  I did have a couple of nice tandas with a couple of lovely dancers.  But where’s the magic I live for?  Doesn’t have to be a whole tanda, just that one single dance that can keep me smiling for days.. making me look forward to  my next ‘fix’..

I shall not give up.  I just have to move on.  I used to like this community, because they’re a lovely bunch of people.  I started out a couple of years ago with most of these people.  Went through the worst of the newbie times together.  But two years on.. most of them are nowhere near where I want my tango to be.  They are still doing steps, not dancing from the heart.  Still trying to recite the one or two composers they know of, but not feeling the music in their soul.  And not paying attention to the embrace or anything else that really matters.

Then, as if to rub salt in the wound, Tango Therapist posts this:  http://tango-beat.blogspot.com/2011/01/upgrade-ticket-germanybuenos.html.  I am going to print it out and hand it out to every tango dancer-wannabe I know.